12 kingdoms, youko

Same shit different day

"I seem to envy the moment. The brilliance which I see other people posses, that which I lack. They say contentment is the key to happiness. If I remember right, Hobbes said that contentment is the ability to get what you want at the moment you want them.
But what if I want is genius?"

"I can't say that I don't try. But at the same time I know it isn't enough. I must have delved into all sorts of interests just to find the niche I belong to. But the fact remains. I'm an idiot."

"I'm whining I guess. I'm sick of this lack of genius. Or at least inspiration. I know that everyone goes through this. But I want to get out of this rut."


I probably wrote this about a year ago. Logging in to my livejournal homepage after a year I find this. The net is wonderful ne? That it can bring back a memory from a long time ago, and make it seem as if it was just hours.

Back then, before technology, an event would have to be memorable, perfect, and life-shattering, just so all the details of that incident would get burned into your heart and mind forever; so you wouldn't forget.

Funny. Blogging has reduced the number of amnesiacs in this world. Not that I wanna remember this moment.

Because frankly, nothing has changed.

Same shit different day.
12 kingdoms, youko

You who never arrived

You who never arrived

You who never arrived
In my arms, Beloved who were lost
From the start
I don’t even know what songs would please you, I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next
moment. At the immense
images in me--the far-off deeply felt landscape,
cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected
turns in the path
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods--
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me

You, Beloved who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house--, and almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,
You had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and, startled,
gave back my too-sudden image. Who know?
Perhaps the same bird echoed both of us
Yesterday, separate, in the evening…
---Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)

This beautiful, beautiful poem finally gave me the initiative to start a story I've long been planning.
god... i love stalkers so much! and I do so love valkyrie profile (the original ps1 one)
12 kingdoms, youko

Cupid stalked me (rough draft) HOOW?

i've posted chapter seventeen of my beloved. Its what I prefer to call my best and most concise chappie!! so, so unbelievably saad buuuuut.

to anyone who would bother to read this.
i hope my readers don't. (keh) I'm gonna give the WHOLE!!rough draft. hahaha.
yeah. I will. don't tell, though! but. I do wish someone would tell me how I can do that.

hmm.... answers, answers, answers...

in the meantime this is the link to the story.

someone REVIEW!
12 kingdoms, youko

Cupid stalked me

no one who knows me online knows I've already finished this. so its real fortunate no one who reviews me should visit this site.
harharharhar!! *gasp, choke, gasp*

but basically. since I'm confessing and all.
cupid stalked me is...

an autobiography-ish. The plot isn't real, of course, but every freakin detail inside is completely real and all the characters (except the deities) were completely taken from real life.
of course Soul is me.

but i wouldn't say that to my reviewers (however few they are) they...might get angry at the fact that soul is me.

haahaaa. narcissism turns everyone off.

Its a tried and tested adage.

but anyways, i'm posting this here because i want to confess. because its killing my conscience to be lying to my readers (however ghostly they are hahaha.)
here it is

cupid stalked me is finished.
and the cupid stalked me is aLLLL about me.